I have a big problem in my life… I think I know what I want but in reality I have no friggen clue. I say it weekly, probably even daily. It’s my usual whiny routine of “I want a boyfriend!”
Why I say that I have no idea whatsoever. I know that I am completely fucked in the head and have no business bringing boys into it to experience the craziness that is me. I have “tried” to be in a committed relationship before and lets just say it didn’t end too well. And who can blame me?! I’m sixteen, why do I have to be tied down? High school years are the years you’re meant to enjoy and I see my friends with their boyfriends and all the drama that __surrounds__ them. I think I want a boyfriend, but then the universe presents an opportunity and guess what I do? I kick the universe in the balls and say “ME? I am NOT ready to be in a committed relationship.” I have an expiration date of about a week for how long I can keep interest in something or someone for that matter.
Don’t take this out of context; I have no desire to have a boyfriend just because I don’t want one. It’s NOT a promiscuity problem (trust me on that one).
I think I want boyfriend but in all honesty, I’m fine not being with someone 24/7. It sounds self-centered but right now I only have time to worry about me, not care about pleasing someone else. This finally came to light last night when I was catching up with a friend and “I care more about spinning than I do about boys” accidentally slipped out. Whatever, I have what I need in life. Cheers to good friends, family and the occasional NONSERIOUS fling ;)
Have a good week,
Maayan
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